You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back. ~William D. Tammeus
For many, these memorable words by Pulitzer Prize winning journalist William D. Tammeus evoke images of a conventional mom and pop family at the summer fair. The reality, of course, is that an individual needn’t fit the traditional definition of “parent” to have that profound parental connection to a child.
Blended families and close extended family relationships are increasingly common. It takes a village, the saying goes, and often a small village is indeed involved in raising a child—step-parents, grandparents, partners, aunts, uncles, friends, siblings. No matter how many family members might be waving to her on the merry-go-round, however, traditionally a child has not been able to have more than two legally recognized parents. British Columbia’s Law and Equity Act (s. 61) states that, subject to the Family Relations Act and the Adoption Act, a person is considered to be the child of his or her “natural parents”.
This began to shift in Ontario in 2007, when the province’s Court of Appeal found that a child born to a lesbian couple through artificial insemination had three legal parents—the birth mother, her same-sex spouse, and the biological father, who donated the sperm (A.A. v. B.B. and C.C.) Response to the decision was as out-spoken and varied as it was predictable.
Now British Columbia is poised to formally recognize the reality of three parent families, with the introduction of the new Family Law Act. When the Act comes into force, which is expected sometime over the next year, children born through assisted reproductive technology will be able to have three legally recognized parents, provided all of the parents involved agree in writing before the child is born. Without such an agreement, only the birth mother and her spouse or partner will be recognized as the child’s parents. These changes will bring needed clarity and flexiblity to the laws governing family relationships.
But in the meantime, there is no such clarity. The fact you wave every time your child goes around the merry-go-round may make you a parent in spirit, but not in law. As I discussed in a previous post, parents of children born through reproductive technologies often have to resort to the courts to obtain an order formally confirming their status and severing any rights of the donor. If your family is considering using assisted reproductive technology, be sure to get legal advice on the specifics of your situation and the laws in your jursdiction.